Happy all the time? Says who?
I have spent over a week in and out, and now admitted, to the hospital. I have had such a high fever my bed and clothes were drenched in sweat; my good ol’ buddy Tom the IV pole has been following me everywhere I go, I’m not allowed any visitors due to COVID restrictions, and I’m in pain.
Am I happy? HECK NAH. Like not at all, in no way, not at all, NAH. I’m taking two double-paced summer courses so I’m doing coursework from my bed – because classes don’t stop even when Bre does – and battling my symptoms simultaneously.
To be completely honest, I’ve cried. Like, a lot. No part of this is enjoyable. The loneliness and unknown, as well as the symptoms got me thinking, “No I am not happy with this.”
And you know what, that’s okay. Whoever says we have to be happy all the time is just wrong and I would say…impossible. Fighting against sad/negative emotions while trying to put your happy face on, will only allow those negative emotions to fester and grow. Feel them. Accept them. We are humans, not robots, and we were meant to feel different emotions. Accept that you are sad, and that that is okay. Accept that you are upset, and that that is okay. As a social work student with external training, I think my biggest advice is to acknowledge how you feel, and accept it. Acceptance lessens the anxiety people feel when they think they shouldn’t feel sad, and then get anxious about feeling sad.
No, you are not a burden. You have a burden, and there is a difference.
Because when we accept where we are, we accept who we are – authentically.
Be you. Be real. Accept where you are, but don’t accept that you’ll stay there.
Better days are ahead, my friend.